nights were made not made for sleeping.

it is 4.50am now and i am still awake. the past week has been about escaping from everything. i feel happier now. i feel so worry-less, yet so empty. losing self-consciousness has given me the space to breathe again.

it has been painful, disappointing, and saddening to say the least. while i see the many happy people around me, i keep wondering when i will find mine. on the surface everything looks so easy, but why is it so hard for me? i see the end of things before they start. i don't want to but i do. it makes things scary, if not terrifying.

my optimism for the past 2 months seems to be slowly fading away. i cant keep lying to myself, not forever. it is probably the time to face up to reality, to see the failures in myself, to look back and reflect ; not always looking forward and hoping for things to happen.

i am tired of making things happen. i keep wishing things would just happen, like they do to so many people around me. its a weird feeling, a selfish feeling. i want to be happy too. i have been sad for far too long.

now that i have stopped trying,

i cant feel disappointment anymore.

my onitsuka tiger mexico 66' blue/red is OUT OF STOCK. FARK.

its recession now and singaporeans are buying brand sneakers. rich t00ts.

DAMN NXT YEAR NO NICE SHOE TO WEAR TO SKOOL SAVE ME.